MARCH 21 - APRIL 19
Baking cookies for the kids next door?
Isn't being June Cleaver kind of a bore?
Asking "Why aren't I popular? I've got class!"
The truth of the matter: you're a pain in the ass.
MAY 21 - JUNE 20
Those new sneakers are out of your budget,
so if the account goes red, do not try to fudge it.
Take heed, twins, talking from both sides of yer yap
Won't get you far right now, so cut the crap.
JULY 23 - AUGUST 22
Down and out in the dumps, so give yourself a gift.
Go swimming in the pool, set your worries adrift.
Run, don't walk to the clubhouse, fast as you can-
You're all things to all people, so suave and so tan.
SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 22
Fabulous you turns responsible and wise
Your path becomes clear, it shines from your eyes.
The star of the moment, glowing on the stage
As a performance artist who burns things in rage.
NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21
You'll be playing the part of the impartial observer,
So go tell that creep that he doesn't deserve her.
Profess your intentions to drag her off by the hair
Back to the caves, to your velvet-pillowed lair.
JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18
Ouch, you're picky. Yikes, you're a nag.
Best watch out for your head in a plastic bag.
Someone is nosy, making everything their biz-
Quit that gossip and "tell it like it t-i-is."
(from the song of that name by the B-52's)
|
APRIL 20- MAY 20
With your foot in your mouth, don't take one bite better-
You'll find yourself with pants even wetter.
If those sweet nothings are true and sincere,
You'll get what you want, have no fear.
JUNE 21 - JULY 22
The sun shines for you, O lucky horseshoe crab.
And Venus and Mars say "you're the best, you're fab!"
Charming, energetic and quick on the draw
Them thar instincts will help you outsmart the law.
AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22
Look in your closet, get rid of those shorts
You bought at the Gap. Feeling out of sorts?
Trying to define yourself from the pack?
You best be good- stay away from the gun rack.
OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 21
Scorpio is uncharacteristically optomistic--
Don't go bungee jumping or end up a statistic.
Get thee to the library, place thine nose in a book.
Keep thine eyes straight ahead, and wink when you look.
DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19
Ooh la la, someone's on a roll:
Seems you're on duty for the cutie patrol.
Let down your guard, shed the heavy armor
And pass out your number, you foxy lil' charmer.
FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20
Don't spend the week hiding out in the attic--
You're magnetic, charming, quite enigmatic.
The ladies are asking and the gents want to know
Whom you'll be asking and with whom you will go.
|
